Emails etc

Hi!
Firstly apologies to those who have e-mailed me at hopewhenithurts and then waited ages for a response - we are having some problems getting those e-mails downloaded to my home computer so it takes a slightly more complicated route to pick them up! Also it is holiday season so replies will be delayed till a week or so into September - SORRY!

I really want to encourage you guys to read this blog post by Steve McVey - it blessed my heart! It is entitled The Outlook Or The Uplook? and will be worth reading if things are tough going right now!

Bless yer!
Nick x

Tears

Recently there have been many tears for me and although I have written a book called 'It's OK to Cry.' I still struggle to realize that it really is OK. It is tough and the tears do fall and the battle does rage and the thoughts do come 'is it really ok?' It is hard..............

Help is on the way!

This is a great song from Michael W. Smith's album 'A New Hallelujah' - this song has blessed me loads recently so thought I would post it here!

Dispelling unhelpful thought patterns

This is THE most difficult post I think I have ever done. Why? Because it is the biggest area that I battle with and almost daily I feel some of the ways that I am going to try and tackle. Firstly I need to say that this is not every unhelpful thought that you will / may have - there are zillions of different things that come in day by day BUT I am going to try and tackle some of the ones that I have felt in the last 24 hours! Seriously I have really struggled and then Dan, a friend of mine, sent me a text message with a phrase that hit me in it! He said "Keep resting in truth!" This really hit me and this morning I woke up with a kind of cloud over me because of all the negative thoughts from yesterday and I thought 'I have to dispel these with truth.'
Secondly I have to say that I don't have all the answers - those in my inner-most circle of sharing will know the battles of low self-esteem, lack of confidence and the tears that frequent my days, they know that my life is a definite rollercoaster with highs and lows that never seem to run more like a train! But these people also love me despite these things and encourage me consistently and constantly. They also know how often I go to them with questions or just simply a request for some encouragement - so this morning I am talking truth to myself!
I am also aware by the various e-mails I get from info@hopewhenithurts.co.uk that others share the same struggles with thoughts! I know I am not the only one that battles with these!

1. God doesn't love me because I don't have children (or have lost a child).
This is a complete lie from the enemy and the reality is that it is hard because the thought pattern goes on to make you think and feel that it is really true because 'surely if God loved me He would give me the desire of my heart.' The enemy twists it and it will knot you up in side, so here are some Scriptures to counteract this with truth, straight from the Word of God!

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jer 31 v 3

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor childlessness, nor infertility, nor miscarriage, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Rom 8 v 38-39 (added for the Nick Cameron version!)

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Eph 1 v 4-6

2. I must have done something wrong and so God is punishing me.
This is a very common feeling for anyone who has had something bad happen to them (no matter what the circumstance!) - in fact it is so common and so repetitive that not only have others asked me about this feeling it is one that I battle with again and again. The thing is we know that God is a God of justice, He reigns with perfect justice - Jesus paid the price for all of our sins at Calvary (every single one of them), my pastor is often reminding me that God cannot punish sin twice, Jesus took all our punishment, therefore there is nothing else to pay - it is done, dealt with, finished - all because of Jesus!

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again." John 3:16a - The Message Version

"But God shows and clearly proves His own love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us. Therefore, since we are now justified (acquitted, made righteous, and brought into right relationship with God) by Christ's blood, how much more [certain is it that] we shall be saved by Him from the indignation and wrath of God." Rom 5 v 8-9 - the Amplified Bible

"who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed." 1 Peter 2 v23-24

3. God is not going to help me through this.
This is completely against the very nature of God but I know that infertility, miscarriage and childlessness are all very lonely roads and there is a daily feeling of being alone with whatever happens! Yes I know that I have a husband that walks through many of the things with me, I know I have folks that I can and do share with but day by day different things happen to remind us, different thoughts, different conversations, all sorts of things - in these situations it is easy to feel isolated!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1v9

'This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “ Therefore I hope in Him!”' Lam 3 v21-24

"For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Ps 108 v 4

4. My life is not worth anything because I can't have children.
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Col 3 v12

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph 5 v1-2

"If you ever put a price tag on yourself, it would have to read 'Jesus.' His death on the cross was payment for our sins. You are 'worth Jesus' to God because that's what He paid for you." Quote - Josh McDowell

As I said these are just a handful of the unhelpful thoughts that get flung at me- there are many more that I feel totally inadequate to tackle, I know it is hard, I know that so often I would rather not summon the energy to try and battle through but would rather curl up in a heap and hibernate from the World! So I leave you with a handful of quotes from different people that I hope will bless your heart and help you whatever you are facing:-

"God can heal the broken-hearted if all the pieces are given to Him" Warren Wiersbe

"God's view of you is spelt a-c-c-e-p-t not e-x-c-e-p-t" Unknown

"However deep the pit, God's love is deeper still." Corrie Ten Boom

"My focus changed from demanding an explanation from God to humbly depending on Him." Joni Eareckson-Tada

"We may not know what tomorrow holds but it is a great comfort to know who holds tomorrow." T.D. Jakes

"He is as worthy of worship on our worst day as He is on our best." Graham Cooke

"Our role in the Earth is to be occupied with Jesus. We need to be too busy being fascinated with Him to be intimidated by the enemy." Graham Cooke

"Forgiveness is to be received not earned" Peter Day

"Speak words that empower you - not words that weaken you." Joyce Meyer

"God does not have problems only solutions." Ken Vincent

"As a camel kneels before his master to have him remove his burden, so kneel and let the master take your burden." Corrie Ten Boom

Praise You In The Storm

I think that I have posted this song before after someone e-mailed it to me a few years ago - but over the last few days it has kept going through my head! Listening to some of the lines of this song just seem so applicable to me, I have put the lyrics below because I find it helpful to read them as well as just listening to it.......





Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

Chorus

The Battle of Mother's Day

So many people don't realise the battle that Mother's Day brings for so many people. I have wondered about posting something nearer the day but I know all too well how much it hurts so left the post till a week later!
The reality is that so many people do ache - perhaps their Mother has passed away and the void is there - every year that reminder comes of someone so important in their lives no longer there.
Others like me long to be a Mother, to own that title, but once again the reminder hits the core of your being. It is a hard one - I love my Mother and my Mother-in-law very much and love to take the opportunity to send a card and thank them for being the people that they are, but at the same time my own ache after the various losses that I have experienced is huge. Mother's Day is a tough day.

Last Sunday my husband and I noticed that different churches that we drove past were giving out flowers to all the women - some churches gave a daffodil to every woman, others (slightly better off churches) were giving out roses! Malcolm and I talked about it as we drove - wondering how folks would feel if they were handed a flower to mark such a painful day in the year for them - perhaps they may love it and appreciate it, perhaps it would be a reminder of the gap or the pain they felt for that day. I actually don't have an answer but I do hope that these churches considered how they make people feel before such a gift - it is one thing to think of it as a nice gesture and out of kindness and love but another when the gesture may actually hurt the recipient.

The pain of Mother's Day is not generally mentioned or talked about - the shops cash in on cards, flowers and trinkets - marketing it carefully to make the most profit - but I have never ever seen a card saying something like 'thinking of you on this difficult day' in respect of Mother's Day!

For everyone out there who, like me, find this day so very hard and one for tears rather than laughter - I just want to leave you with this verse from Numbers 6 (amplified version):-

"The Lord bless you and watch, guard, and keep you; The Lord make His face to shine upon and enlighten you and be gracious, kind, merciful, and giving favor to you; The Lord lift up His approving countenance upon you and give you peace, tranquility of heart and life continually."