Sunday, 4 September 2016

A Long Journey

I haven't blogged on here for ages! Last week would have been a 12th birthday if things had been different back in was strange for us in one way with the questions of how different life would have been but in another way it was precious for us. On the 'due date' we were out for lunch doing something positive, being together and grateful to God knowing that He is 100% faithful and true. 

Since my last blog we are now worshipping at a different church - now in Crawley and it is a different fresh start for us. We have been amazed again at the faithfulness of a God who does not alter, shift or change; whose Kingdom is not shaken.

We have realised that the journey is long, it isn't just a quick 100m sprint but the race we run, the journey we travel is long but yet in the grand picture of all eternity it is just a moment. This week we approach our 21st wedding anniversary - knowing God has kept us together through the laughter as well as the tears.

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Fresh Start

In January 2010 it felt like my life crumbled to pieces!  Two years on and we really have been on a journey.  The term 'journey' is overused by reality shows etc etc but it is the only way to describe what has happened to us.  To cut a VERY long story short we have in the past year moved house, area and Church as a direct result of feeling that God was telling us that it was time for a fresh start.  Time to have some space to heal and space to rest where home would be a pleasant place to refresh.  God has led and blessed us.  From a wide search area he led us to a town in Surrey called Horley.  Throughout our move we have prayed 'Lord please lead us to the right Church' - we had a handful of things we were looking for in a new Church - somewhere that would take us as were, a grace Church, somewhere where we met with God, somewhere where noone knew us - thus having no expectations of what we would do or what we should be like - taking us at face value!  We also wanted somewhere that be willing to let us 'just be' for a while - we knew that God had clearly been telling us that we needed time and space to heal. Pratically we also wanted somewhere local so we could walk if necessary and a hope that others from the Church would also be local!  We found such a Church in Southlands

Since our move it feels like a fresh page and God is once again speaking to us.  I hope in weeks and months to come to share a bit more about the journey of the last two years and to share our continuing journey of learning about God's grace, how He has helped us to rebuild our lives over this last two years, things we have learned and how we have found God in the midst of the darkest times.

Wednesday, 26 October 2011


In January 2011 Malcolm and Nick miscarried again. They are very grateful for the support from so many during this hard year.

Wednesday, 19 August 2009

Emails etc

Firstly apologies to those who have e-mailed me at hopewhenithurts and then waited ages for a response - we are having some problems getting those e-mails downloaded to my home computer so it takes a slightly more complicated route to pick them up! Also it is holiday season so replies will be delayed till a week or so into September - SORRY!

I really want to encourage you guys to read this blog post by Steve McVey - it blessed my heart! It is entitled The Outlook Or The Uplook? and will be worth reading if things are tough going right now!

Bless yer!
Nick x

Friday, 8 May 2009


Recently there have been many tears for me and although I have written a book called 'It's OK to Cry.' I still struggle to realize that it really is OK. It is tough and the tears do fall and the battle does rage and the thoughts do come 'is it really ok?' It is hard..............

Saturday, 25 April 2009

Help is on the way!

This is a great song from Michael W. Smith's album 'A New Hallelujah' - this song has blessed me loads recently so thought I would post it here!

Sunday, 12 April 2009

Dispelling unhelpful thought patterns

This is THE most difficult post I think I have ever done. Why? Because it is the biggest area that I battle with and almost daily I feel some of the ways that I am going to try and tackle. Firstly I need to say that this is not every unhelpful thought that you will / may have - there are zillions of different things that come in day by day BUT I am going to try and tackle some of the ones that I have felt in the last 24 hours! Seriously I have really struggled and then Dan, a friend of mine, sent me a text message with a phrase that hit me in it! He said "Keep resting in truth!" This really hit me and this morning I woke up with a kind of cloud over me because of all the negative thoughts from yesterday and I thought 'I have to dispel these with truth.'
Secondly I have to say that I don't have all the answers - those in my inner-most circle of sharing will know the battles of low self-esteem, lack of confidence and the tears that frequent my days, they know that my life is a definite rollercoaster with highs and lows that never seem to run more like a train! But these people also love me despite these things and encourage me consistently and constantly. They also know how often I go to them with questions or just simply a request for some encouragement - so this morning I am talking truth to myself!
I am also aware by the various e-mails I get from that others share the same struggles with thoughts! I know I am not the only one that battles with these!

1. God doesn't love me because I don't have children (or have lost a child).
This is a complete lie from the enemy and the reality is that it is hard because the thought pattern goes on to make you think and feel that it is really true because 'surely if God loved me He would give me the desire of my heart.' The enemy twists it and it will knot you up in side, so here are some Scriptures to counteract this with truth, straight from the Word of God!

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jer 31 v 3

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor childlessness, nor infertility, nor miscarriage, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Rom 8 v 38-39 (added for the Nick Cameron version!)

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." Eph 1 v 4-6

2. I must have done something wrong and so God is punishing me.
This is a very common feeling for anyone who has had something bad happen to them (no matter what the circumstance!) - in fact it is so common and so repetitive that not only have others asked me about this feeling it is one that I battle with again and again. The thing is we know that God is a God of justice, He reigns with perfect justice - Jesus paid the price for all of our sins at Calvary (every single one of them), my pastor is often reminding me that God cannot punish sin twice, Jesus took all our punishment, therefore there is nothing else to pay - it is done, dealt with, finished - all because of Jesus!

"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again." John 3:16a - The Message Version

"But God shows and clearly proves His own love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners, Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) died for us. Therefore, since we are now justified (acquitted, made righteous, and brought into right relationship with God) by Christ's blood, how much more [certain is it that] we shall be saved by Him from the indignation and wrath of God." Rom 5 v 8-9 - the Amplified Bible

"who, when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness—by whose stripes you were healed." 1 Peter 2 v23-24

3. God is not going to help me through this.
This is completely against the very nature of God but I know that infertility, miscarriage and childlessness are all very lonely roads and there is a daily feeling of being alone with whatever happens! Yes I know that I have a husband that walks through many of the things with me, I know I have folks that I can and do share with but day by day different things happen to remind us, different thoughts, different conversations, all sorts of things - in these situations it is easy to feel isolated!

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1v9

'This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “ Therefore I hope in Him!”' Lam 3 v21-24

"For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Ps 108 v 4

4. My life is not worth anything because I can't have children.
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Col 3 v12

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." Eph 5 v1-2

"If you ever put a price tag on yourself, it would have to read 'Jesus.' His death on the cross was payment for our sins. You are 'worth Jesus' to God because that's what He paid for you." Quote - Josh McDowell

As I said these are just a handful of the unhelpful thoughts that get flung at me- there are many more that I feel totally inadequate to tackle, I know it is hard, I know that so often I would rather not summon the energy to try and battle through but would rather curl up in a heap and hibernate from the World! So I leave you with a handful of quotes from different people that I hope will bless your heart and help you whatever you are facing:-

"God can heal the broken-hearted if all the pieces are given to Him" Warren Wiersbe

"God's view of you is spelt a-c-c-e-p-t not e-x-c-e-p-t" Unknown

"However deep the pit, God's love is deeper still." Corrie Ten Boom

"My focus changed from demanding an explanation from God to humbly depending on Him." Joni Eareckson-Tada

"We may not know what tomorrow holds but it is a great comfort to know who holds tomorrow." T.D. Jakes

"He is as worthy of worship on our worst day as He is on our best." Graham Cooke

"Our role in the Earth is to be occupied with Jesus. We need to be too busy being fascinated with Him to be intimidated by the enemy." Graham Cooke

"Forgiveness is to be received not earned" Peter Day

"Speak words that empower you - not words that weaken you." Joyce Meyer

"God does not have problems only solutions." Ken Vincent

"As a camel kneels before his master to have him remove his burden, so kneel and let the master take your burden." Corrie Ten Boom